in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
