he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
