either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize