Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
