so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
