Sponge bath it is.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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