i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
