We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think i have herpe
just one?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
