I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
