O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
