i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
