she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
