I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Pooping to opera.
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