why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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