im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
