Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
