Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There r osticjed everywhere
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
