we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
