my sisters under your porch take her home
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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