I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
