the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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