Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
