i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
