Duck Duck Cougar?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
