Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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