cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
