did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nutella sex= disaster
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize