my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
