Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
