Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
