S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
