I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
