it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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