Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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