Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
