This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
