I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
