It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize