I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
