Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
