I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
