dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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