i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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