I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
