it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
