she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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