after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
