from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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