I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
