Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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