u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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