I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
