I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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