the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
