Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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