Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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