fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
