Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
