Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
