Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
