brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
only if we run a train.
done.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
