the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
