four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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