yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize