I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
