Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
