That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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