I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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