My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
