Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
