Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and she was petting her beer can
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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