Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize