Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
