Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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