dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
