Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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