What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
