i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
