she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
