I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
worst night to have a conscience
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
