That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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