shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
